Weekly Recap
Larry finally clocks in. Mike escapes by 0.29. Pavel gets audited.
Larry Noel finally won a fucking game, beating Pavel Kogan 75.88 to 59.88. Five weeks of corporate insolvency ended because Pavel submitted a score that looked like a lunch receipt. Jonathan Taylor supplied 20.10 of Pavel's points while Jameis Winston managed 3.98. Larry's reward is a 1 win, 5 loss record and company at the bottom with Jack and Tom. Congratulations on meeting the absolute minimum requirement of participating.
Mike Aguanno survived Chris Scurry 85.32 to 85.03. A 0.29 point margin. That isn't a statement win, it's finding loose change in the conference room couch. Christian McCaffrey and Isaiah Likely combined for 47.70 while Jacoby Brissett contributed 5.92. Scurry takes the week's closest loss and the privilege of replaying every lineup decision until Thursday. Mike reaches 5 wins and 1 loss. The scoreboard does not ask whether you deserved it.
Evan Seacat handled Alex Buell 107.86 to 69.85, collecting both the week's high score and its biggest winning margin, 38.01 points. Tre Tucker delivered 24.20, the best wide receiver score among the league's starters, and James Cook added 22.80. Alex's two starting running backs, Jeremiyah Love and Cam Skattebo, combined for exactly zero. Two occupied seats, no production. That's not a backfield, that's middle management.
Stephen Spencer beat Chad Van Horn 97.04 to 79.47 and joins Mike at 5 wins and 1 loss. Trevor Lawrence supplied 28.34, the league's best starting quarterback score, while Colston Loveland added 16.10. Stephen even had Tyler Shough's 28.46 sitting on the bench. Chad followed last week's takedown of undefeated Mike by putting Dak Prescott's 9.27 and Rhamondre Stevenson's 3.60 on the expense report. One big acquisition does not make you a fucking dynasty.
Sean Laird beat Tom Burkett 98.99 to 92.74 behind Kenneth Walker's 26.90, the week's best starting running back score. Tom got 22.50 from Malik Nabers and 20.34 from Bryce Young, then left Germie Bernard's 20.20 on the bench. Sean moves to 4 wins and 2 losses. Tom drops to 1 win and 5 losses, where Larry has finally arrived to make the bottom of the standings even more irritating.
Rob Lazerson beat Jack Decker 91.30 to 84.20. Bhayshul Tuten led Rob with 22.70, and Josh Allen added 18.80. Jack got 25.30 from Drake Maye and 21.00 from D'Andre Swift, then watched Juwan Johnson and Keaton Mitchell combine for 0.40. Two departments shared forty cents of output. Rob is 4 wins and 2 losses. Uncle Rico is 1 win and 5 losses, still pitching the board on what could have been.
The scoring awards go to Evan for high score and biggest win, Pavel for low score, and Mike for the closest escape. Tom owns the highest scoring loss at 92.74. Starter position honors belong to Trevor Lawrence, Kenneth Walker, Tre Tucker and Isaiah Likely. The bench leaders are Tyler Shough, Alvin Kamara, Germie Bernard and Kyle Pitts. Pavel left Pitts' 21.00 unused while Tyler Higbee scored 2.60. That's the kind of asset management that gets your badge deactivated. These are Business Horse awards calculated from archived Sleeper scores, separate from Sleeper's private weekly chat report.